I am a Year 7 student in the Uru MÄnuka Cluster. This is a place where I will share my learning. Please note that some of it will not be complete, it will be my first drafts. Remember to be positive, thoughtful and helpful when you leave me a comment.
Hi Eddie You are a very imaginative writer, really liked reading your story. I see you have used your story plan to write the story. Is there a way you can copy your story and write it in a new document so it all flows together? Maybe you could tell us how the water from the sprinklers helped them escape. Thanks for sharing your work
Hello Eddie. When I read your story,I had your voice in my head,and the way you have written this,sounds exactly like you'd say it. Great work.I like reading things that are different and made up. I am guessing,the Ruby you have used is your sister and does Anime appear later in the story?.
I enjoyed reading your narrative and I noticed that you followed your feedback and simplified your problem by taking out problem 1. I look forward to you finishing off your resolution on Monday! Keep up the awesome learning!
Hi Eddie
ReplyDeleteYou are a very imaginative writer, really liked reading your story.
I see you have used your story plan to write the story. Is there a way you can copy your story and write it in a new document so it all flows together?
Maybe you could tell us how the water from the sprinklers helped them escape.
Thanks for sharing your work
Hello Eddie.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read your story,I had your voice in my head,and the way you have written this,sounds exactly like you'd say it.
Great work.I like reading things that are different and made up.
I am guessing,the Ruby you have used is your sister and does Anime appear later in the story?.
Hi Eddie,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your narrative and I noticed that you followed your feedback and simplified your problem by taking out problem 1. I look forward to you finishing off your resolution on Monday!
Keep up the awesome learning!
Miss D
Hello Eddie.
ReplyDeleteI hope you had a great weekend.I can't wait to see more of your work.Take care and have a super week.