Writing....... I guess

 Hello fellow mortals,

Today I am posting about what my class is doing for writing. We are learning how to fix surface features. Surface features are little bits of your writing like spelling, too many of the same words, punctuation.

But why are we doing this? Well its because we need to learn how to write and to see the problems so then it makes it easier for other people to read.

Here's an example: thissentsaChulymakessen Zbuttisrellyhrd to reed. This sentence is really hard to read but it makes a lot of sense. The sentence reads: This sentence actually makes sense but is really hard to read.

On our Room 9 writing site. Our teacher made a link to a story we needed to fix. We made our own copy of the story. We had to read the story and then find the problems with the story.

We would read the story and highlight the word and were used over and over again and then we started to change them, some we couldn't.

Here's the story that we had to read and find the problems. This is not my writing its someones else.

He kept absolutely still as the footsteps got louder he tried not to suffocate as he laid under the bed he was wondering what had happened to his brother and his family. The man with the knife in his hand stormed around the house. Mums had boyfriends before but we had not thought that they would ever find us maybe he was one of them looking for revenge but why would he come. mum would just move and how did he find us we live on the other side of the planet from where all of mums boyfriends were so how could he find us he might have put a tracker on mum when he last saw her or on one of the devises ‘Hello where are you I know your here you're going to tell me where you're mother is or you shall join your father... in the skies so which will it be death or freedom you have 10 seconds chose wisely’.

Here's the fixed writing

Chelby kept absolutely still as the footsteps got louder. He tried not to suffocate as he laid under the bed. He was wondering what had happened to his brother and his family. The man with a sharp pointy knife in his hand stormed around the house.

Mum has  had boyfriends before but we had not thought that they would ever find us. Maybe he was one of them looking for revenge, but why would he come? Mum would just move. How did he find us? We live on the other side of the planet from where all of mum's boyfriends were. So how could he find us? He might have put a tracker on mum when he last saw her or on one of her devices.

 “Hello, where are you? I know you’re here. you're going to tell me where your mother is or you shall join your father... in the skies. So which will it be, death or freedom! You have ten seconds to choose wisely”. 

You can see how many words that were used over and over again like the word He or The. I have changed some of these to make sense like putting in paragraphs and highlighting the over used words.

Can you see the changes that I made? If you do then please comment down below.

Thanks for reading my blog, If you see any mistakes then please comment down below. Bye for now.

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